Monday, June 18, 2012

A Series of Disjointed Rambling Posts: #4 What Do People Put in Toilets?

I know that question is making all of your inner 7-year-olds giggle. But seriously.

I've started to notice a lot more of these lately.

^What the hell is he putting in there? A boarding pass? In the toilet? It looks bigger than that. A 4x8 index card? Unless it's real-to-size and then he's got a gigantic hand and is trying to stuff a poster into the poor little toilet. What's with that?

^Hand towels? Who would put hand towels in the toilet? How wouldn't they know that "hand towels...will clog the toilet?" Why would anyone try that? I am so confused.

^What's that? A bagged lunch? I see the diaper, but what's in the bag? And that thing that looks like an enormous inflatable Band-Aid. What's that? Half-popped microwave popcorn? A giant inflatable Band-Aid? Oh! It's a sanitary napkin from 1975, right? Don't forget your safety pins, ladies.
And bottles and cups? Really? People put them in the toilet? Holy crap.

Even if we were raised by wolves, we would know not to flush fucking bottles down the toilet.

Slugs. I could have been raised by slugs and I would know not to try and flush a bottle down the toilet.

If these signs are anything to go by, we're in big trouble.

Zombies are mere centimeters away.

What about the other 17 things you wanted to tell us about?

Um. I'm groggy. And I want to get a contest going.
So, here's a link to a blog about a Skype chat I did with a book club where my next book was named "Project Lice & Porn."
The book's about all sorts of stuff. But I like this nickname. Because it's very me, isn't it?

And the snow globe/TSA update, as seen in the Houston airport. YOUR SAFETY IS OUR PRIORITY. Especially when it comes to children's toys.

I can't remember the other 15 right now.
I had a dream last night that I was late for everything at ALA. And I got lost in the hotel. And I ran out of clothes. I'm kinda preoccupied now. So we'll just jump right to the contest.

Want to win something cool?

Go to my Secret Hideout for contest instructions.
You have until Wednesday, June 20th to enter.

Go to it!


Sara (of the Page Sage) said...

I don't even want to think about why people needed those signs. haha

Matthew MacNish said...

I'm just jealous you're in LA with KP and the other AS. :P

Kristen Pelfrey said...

I laughed so hard.
Raised by slugs.
My oh my.