Before I get into contest stuff, I have to remind you that TODAY IS THE DAY.
Dear Bully (70 Authors Tell Their Stories) is out today. Go buy a copy and a portion of your money will go to the charity Stomp Out Bullying. This book is great for libraries, classrooms, teachers, administrators and parents too. Bullying: not just for kids, you know.
My small contribution to the book is an essay entitled "The Boy Who Won't Leave Me Alone" which was really hard to write because I hadn't told anyone about the boy except for my best friend at the time and my husband and sister since. Being singled out and harassed isn't fun. It's happened to me quite a bit in my life because I just don't seem to fit inside people's neat little boxes. I'm too weird. I'm too confident. I'm too talkative. I'm too serious. I'm too logical. I'm too good with power tools. I'm not a good enough shopper. I'm too popular. I'm not popular enough. I'm too tall. I'm too short. I'm too skinny. I'm not skinny enough. I'm too funny. I'm not funny at all. I hang out with the wrong people. I hang out with the right people. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Anything to start a rumor. Anything to gain whatever it is rumor-makers gain. Friends? Attention? Something to do on a boring day?
Want to hear a great rumor story? I think I should tell you one to celebrate the release of this awesome book.
When I was in high school, there was this girl who pretended to like me but she didn't like me and I knew it. And one day she walked up to me and told me that she had a secret and she was really freaked out and I couldn't tell anyone about it. (NOTE: I knew this was a set up the minute she approached me. She never talked to me. Why would she tell me a secret?) She then told me she was pregnant. (She was not pregnant.) She swore me to secrecy. Of course. Then, she left the rest to her sidekick.
Her sidekick wasn't very smart that day. I'm not sure if she was like that all the time and I wouldn't want to judge. But that day, she wasn't very smart. Make a mental note, readers. If you want to be a mean girl and do shifty stuff, at least make sure your sidekick is smart on the day you want to do said shifty stuff.
So about 5 tiny minutes later, the sidekick walked up to me. (Probably the second time this person ever talked to me. Clue #2 to that something shifty was going on.) Sidekick put on dramatic voice and said, "OMG! Did you hear [not-pregnant-girl] is pregnant?!" I stared at her and said, "Are you sure you were supposed to tell me that?"
She looked confused and walked away. Then, moments later, an irate [not-pregnant-girl] was in my face saying I told the sidekick the big secret. She told all of her friends that I passed a rumor around about her and they all gave me the evil eyes. I think she may have even challenged me to a real live fight. We were 18 years old. I was too engrossed in Plato's cave to get into a fist fight--which is good because I think she would have kicked my ass. Plato, on the other hand, I could probably take.
Here ends my walk down memory lane. Not sure if there's a moral to the story, but I guess if I was to come up with one, I'd say it's: Make sure you're hanging out with the right people.
Don't forget if you want to read about the boy who wouldn't leave me alone and 70 other essays by amazing authors, and help support a great cause in the process, then buy Dear Bully (70 Authors Tell Their Stories).
NOW...back to our regularly scheduled blog...
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you might have noticed that lately, I'm taking a step back in time to when I was 11 and discovered Adam Ant. Or more accurately fell madly in love with Adam Ant. Or maybe more accurately, fell madly in love with a picture of Adam Ant. I only got to see him live on YouTube lately. Back then, all I had to fall in love with was the picture on the front of my record sleeve.
It was this picture:
I think my love for this picture was an indication that I might choose a future life partner based on how utterly exciting he was, which, if you know Mr. King, is exactly what I did. (Not to mention massively good-looking.) (I brag. You would too.) When I look wider at my posse, I realize I chose some mighty exciting people to hang out with. And like my story above illustrated, it's pretty important who you hang out with, and it says something about you, too.
Anyway, I've been listening to that album, and the title track gave me a great idea for a contest:
Add this track with my love for Yul Brenner and the [original] movie The Magnificent Seven, and you have a contest. Are you ready to win an Advance Reader Copy of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS?
Sing it with me: WE ARE THE FAMILY!
How to enter: Type your entry in the comment area of this here blog. Make sure to give me an email address in order to contact you if you win.
I am forming a posse. First, I need a right-hand man/sidekick/Spock/cohort. To choose my right-hand man/sidekick/Spock/cohort, I need to ask applicants three questions.
- What would your personal posse nickname be? (What would I call you?)
- What's your motto? (This is what you yell before we have to attack evildoers and scoundrels.) (Except for Han Solo. He's an acceptable scoundrel.)
- Would you ever lie to me? If yes, then about what?
How to win: Make us laugh (funny cohorts are the best cohorts), snot through our noses or spit our coffee by writing something that we can tell you had a lot of fun writing.
Prize: A SIGNED advanced reader copy of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS.
Deadline: Friday, September 9th at 23:59 EST.
If we get 50 entries, there will be TWO CHANCES to win. (And our posse will be a bit bigger, which is good.) So retweet, post on facebook and spread the word.