Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Everybody Sees the Pants Contest

Everybody makes mistakes.
Now I want you to make one on purpose.
For a very early ARC of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS.

Before I get into contest stuff, I want to point you toward a few reviews and links for the week.
First, Maya wrote to me about two great reviews a VERA DIETZ one here and a D100D one here. Thank you Maya! I am so glad you're enjoying my books! Looks like you might enjoy ANTS too! Stay tuned.
Second, have any of you discovered Text Messages podcasts from ReadWriteThink? This week's podcast includes a few sweet words about EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS in an amazing piece about bullying books and a great chat with CJ Bott, one of the nation's experts on bullying and its effects.

Last, a few new dates for you calendar that haven't gone on my official calendar yet:
June 8th: Author Panel at Bryan High School, Omaha, NE 7-9pm Join Ellen Hopkins, Matt de la Pena, Coe Booth, Lisa McMann and me for two hours of awesome.
October 6th: The second to TWO national launches for EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS--Changing Hands bookstore, Tempe Arizona. Time TBA.

In the past, innocent typos have revealed that I wrote books called The Dust of 1000 (or 10,000) Dogs, (Just found Dust of 100 Days) Please Excuse Vera Dietz and just today ( <3 U Mandee) Everybody Sees the Aunts. Part of me is reminded of those great clean up voice-overs they used to do on movies--like The Exorcist's "Your mother sews socks that smell."

Challenge: Take one of my book titles and make it hilariously all wrong. This can work in many ways. Subtlety is just as hilarious as going over the top, depending on how you do it.

How to Enter: Leave your entry in the comment area with you email address or a way to find you if you win! You can enter a maximum of 10 times.

Prize: A signed ARC (advance reader copy) of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS.

Bonus points for: Related sequel titles to your all-wrong titles.

Deadline: June 6th, 2011 23:59 EST

I'm traveling a lot that week, so forgive me if the winner announcement isn't instant!
Tell your friends. This is going to be fun!
I'll be back in a week or two with some cool blurbs for EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS.


Anna said...

I am using this first; Please Ignore Vera Ditz. ;)

Grace R.

Karoline said...

Yay, contest, I'm in ;)

I have five ideas and I'm posting all of them in this comment for simplicity's sake =D

- The dust of 101 dalmations
- Please, injure Vera Dietz
- Everybody pees on ants
- The bust of 100 dogs
- The seriously dusty matter of 100 particular dogs in splendid glory - a book of love on an epic scale, pirates that reeks of awesomeness and dog facts for the doggishly and un-doggishly inclined

(That last one is an example of what might have been the case if you had decided to make the title long and complicated instead)
Cool contest and have a nice day. Friendly helloes from Karoline,

Unknown said...

Funny mis-titles! Can't wait to see everyone else's! :)

- Please Ignore Vera Diet
- Peas Ignore Vera Dietz
(Beans Upset Charlie Kahn)
- Everybody Seize The Ants
- The Stud of 100 Gods
- Please Ignore, Vera Dietz
- Please, Igor, Where's the Beets?
- The Dust of 1 Coney Dog

Happy travels!


Michelle said...

Love this contest idea!

Everybody Pees Their Pants
Everybody Pees Their Pants: Part Poo
Please Ignore Hairy Feets
Please Ignore Hairy Feets 2: Revenge of the Nairs
The Crust of 100 Frogs
The Crust of 100 Frogs 2: 200 Toads
Please Ignore Every Diet
Please Ignore Every Diet 2: I Am Not A Pagoda
Peace Ignores Vera Dietz
Peace Ignores Vera Dietz 2: When Doves Cry


bermudaonion said...

Everybody Seeks the Ants.


AndreaC said...

Peas Ignore Vera's Beets

(who can blame them? I try to ignore beets at all costs)


AndreaC said...

The Lust of 100 Hogs


Ptiza said...

Vera Dietz For Class President

sequels: Vera Dietz Wants To Rush Your Sorority, Vera Dietz Wins Miss Teen Pennsylania, and Vera Dietz Takes Junior League.

Courtney Krieger said...

Everyone can see down your pants. - Courtney Krieger

Christi said...

Everyone pees on ants
Please Ignore Vera's Deets

Maureen said...

Everyone Hears the Rants


Stephanie Feldstein said...

Good times! Here's one for each:

- Everybody Heeds the Ants
- Please Insure Vera Dietz
- The Dust of 100 Clogs
(I imagine this one as a Dutch thriller :) )


GinaRosati said...

Please Ignore Vera's Tweets

Kate E. said...

Everyone Pees their Pants


John Morris said...

Every Baby Pees the Pants
The Musk of 100 Dogs


Danny said...

Is dirty okay?

The Thrust of 100 Snogs
Please Adore Vera's Peesch
Every Boil Needs a Lance

Anonymous said...

Everybody Sees the Oligarchy

Captin Kirk

Laura said...


Dust of 100 Logs
Lust of 100 Dogs
Fleas Ignore Vera Dietz
Everybody Feeds the Rants
Everybody Needs Your Pants...

Lisa Aldin said...

Great contest!


Everybody Pees on Ants
Dust of 100 Dawgs
Please Assure Vera Dietz
Bust of 100 Jogs
Please Ignore Vera's Diet

Jonathon Arntson said...

Police Implore Vera Dietz
The Lust of 100 Dogs
Everybody Tease the Ants


S. Auger said...

What great fun!

Everyone sees his lance *wink wink*

Who ate the Rusty Dogs

Please do, Make me

Please pee, Vera Speaks

Mary Cashman said...

Everybody! Seize the Ants! Followed by it's sequel, What Do We Do With All These Ants?

The Stud of 100 Dogs, and it's prequel, 99 Problems and a Bitch IS One of Them.

Please, Señor Veradice! A sweeping romance novel set in steamy Barcelona.

This was fun! Either way I can't wait for your next book!

Mary eyer81 at yahoo dot com

EJ said...

Love a good contest.

Everyone Hears the Mosquitoes: First Blood.


Everyone Hears the Mosquitoes: The Swatter's Revenge.

Everyone Hears the Mosquitoes: Drenched in Blood.

Everyone Hears the Mosquitoes: The Orkin Man Cometh.

Everyone Hears the Mosquitoes: Return of the Orkin Man.

Geeky nerd said...

Everyone sneezes Aunts
Sequels:Nobody coughs uncles, Some hiccup Cousins

Gemma Cooper said...

Love this contest - congrats on the early ARC's!

Everybody sees the pants: A nonfiction guide to shop product placement
Sequel: Please ignore Vera Wang: A nonfiction guide to bargain basement shopping.

Nobody sees the ants
Sequel: Please look at Vera Dietz

Everybody sees the anteaters
Sequel: The dust of 100 dead ants

The lust of 100 hogs
Sequel: Please ignore Vera’s Pork Diet

The lust of 100 dogs
Sequel: 10,001 Dalmatians

Everybody seas the ants
Sequel: The dust off 100 dogs

I could do this all day :)


Brandon Terrell said...


Congrats on the book. Can't wait to read it!

Skye (In The Good Books) said...

Amazing contest idea! I'm going to have to keep coming back and reading all the other hilarious entries! But here are my ones:

Everybody Sees Your Implants, a sequel to The Bust of 100 Dogs.

Please Ignite Vera Dietz.

The Rust on 100 Cogs.

Please Ignore Vera's Waltz.

Please Ignore Vera's Diet, a companion novel to The Dust of 100 Jogs.


Anonymous said...

Everybody Sneezes Ants

All of these are all so amazing!


Anonymous said...

Oops, just saw someone else is super brilliant and came up with "sneezes ants" first.
Too many smarties on this blog.

Jason Lalljee said...

"Everybody Pees Their Pants"
"The Rust of 100 Door Knobs"
"Bees Don't Hate Me"
"Please Insure Vera's Dentist"

Email- jasonlall9@aol.com

Mary Cashman said...

The prequel to Everybody Sees the Ants:

Nobody Admits Spilling the Kool Aid

Jael said...

This comment is not an entry into the contest. I just wanted to tell you I am passing out from laughing so hard. You people are FUNNY.

Sae said...

Everybody Reads The Rants
Please Ignore Vera's Diets
Musk of 100 Dirty Dogs

This was fun.

Ashley said...

How fun! My kids helped w/these:

Please record Vera's beats
Peas reward Vera's wheats
Please ignore, Vera. Delete!
Everybody reads the can'ts
Everybody needs the dance
Everybody reads the rants

Anonymous said...

The Dung of 1000 Dogs
Plenty Ignorant Very Ditzy
Everybody's Worn Those Pants

Jennifer Helms said...

Andrea C used my peas/beets one already. LOL

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The Dirt of 100 Hogs

Please Dig More Very Deep Ditches

Everyone Pees Their Pants

P.S. Since I am a school librarian, the copy would go to a high school in San Diego. We would love an autographed copy. and my email address is Lauren.valentino@sduhsd.net