Monday, September 27, 2010

Pizza Delivery Contest

Dudes. Check out this beautiful looking book.
Want to win one? Like...a few weeks before you can actually buy one? Here's your chance.

  • Write a scene of dialogue between pizza delivery person and client.
  • Maximum ten lines of dialogue. (Yes, you can use narrative in between, but I'm in this for the dialogue. The show-don't-tell sort of dialogue I love. So, for those of you planning on writing a more narrative-heavy scene, your WORD LIMIT IS 100 words!)
  • I don't care what format you use (script, quotes, whatever, so long as I can follow.)
  • I don't care what POV or tense you use either.

He opens the door after I knock twice. "Hi."
"Hi. That'll be nineteen fifty," I say.
"You mean nineteen fifty please."
"You didn't say please," he says.
I squint at him. "Look. Do you want your pizza or what?"
"Uh yeah."
"You mean Uh yeah please, right?"
"How much was it again?" he asks.
"Nineteen fifty."

WHAT TO DO: Put your entry in the comments and DON'T FORGET your EMAIL! (safe format = You (at) here (dot) com) This contest is open to international contestants!

DEADLINE: Friday October 1st, 2010 11:59PM EST.

PRIZE: A signed copy of Please Ignore Vera Dietz. 

BONUS: If we get more than 30 entries, I'll pick a second winner. So spread the word.

Good luck! 

Random Shout Outs:

Lenore from Presenting Lenore reviewed Please Ignore Vera Dietz. "It’s an engrossing, touching, and funny read – very different from King’s debut THE DUST OF 100 DOGS but just as special."

Kirstin Cronn-Mills, author of one of my favorite books of 2009, THE SKY ALWAYS HEARS ME BUT THE HILLS DON'T MIND, has posted an OUTLAW interview with me today. Check it out here and yes, I do own similar boots.

If you haven't heard of it yet, you have to check out this blog run by the Random House Children's sales reps. It's called Random Acts of Reading and it's awesome.

See you Friday!


Anonymous said...

is this international?

A.S. King said...

YES! It's international! Woot!

Jess Tudor said...

How are you counting the ten lines? Ten spoken lines (ie, add in all the narrative you want), ten actual lines like on a paper, or what?

Would ten lines of mixed narrative and dialogue be okay? say five spoken, five just action? (I'm so technical, I know.)

I'd hate to be disqualified. :)

A.S. King said...

Jess, I try to make my rules really simple. I see this has become confusing.

My example is the max amount of lines of dialogue. If there is narrative in between, that's fine. I'm interested in dialogue...not a lot of narrative.

So, since this is slightly confusing I say: ten lines of dialogue. If you want to weigh it down with lots of narrative, that's your choice!

I'll now make those rules more clear.

And since people are planning on writing more narrative heavy scenes, I"m going to put a word limit on it too.

What can I say? I like my dialogue sparse.

Good question! Thanks!

Jess Tudor said...


I actually wasn't planning on writing anything narrative heavy but was curious on how the dialogue-narrative breakdown counted toward the line limit. I'm just particular about technicalities especially related to rules.

Jess Tudor said...

*ahem* here's my entry, now that I've made things difficult! SORRY!

“Half-eggplant/half-bacon or anchovy and pineapple?” She bounces on the balls of her feet.
“Neither. Plain.” Anchovy and pineapple? Who eats that, I wonder.
She frowns. “Nobody gets plain. Pizza’s like coffee these days.” A giggle.
“I don’t drink coffee.”
She studies me for a moment. Is that pity? “I’m amazed you eat pizza.”
“Can I just have my pie?”
“I don’t have it.” She holds out the two boxes, clearly labeled. “Here, have this one.”
“I’ll just call the parlor. There’s been a mix-up.”
She blushes. “See, I ate yours by mistake. I thought it was my dinner.”
I blink. “Maybe you shouldn’t drink coffee, either.”

Karoline said...

"Here's your pizza, ma'am, pepperoni as you ordered"
"Thank you, my dear"
"No problem, that will be eleven dollars and fifty cents."
"Here you go, what a pleasure to meet such a fine young man."
"I do my best to be of service. Have a nice day"
"You too!"

She closes the door and takes off her costume, and makes sure to cross off "order pizza disguised as an old lady" on her list. Then she starts eating pizza while already looking forward to her challenge for the next day. Going to a strip-club disguised as a nun...
That's my entry and my email is karo_reader(at)hotmail(dot)com :)
Cool contest by the way and good luck to everybody =D

Jess Tudor said...

er, email is jessica @ jessicatudor . com

3mm4 FyD3NK3V32 said...

Rules were made to be broken!

Here's my LETTER from a customer, to a pizza guy..

DeAr PiZzA mAn,

If YoU eVeR wAnT tO c Ur EaRwAx AgAiN, cOnTaCt 1-800-getyourearwaxback!

Okay now down to the real business. I want an extra, extra large cheese pizza, with extra cheese, and no sauce. Make sure you don't use cheese and don't forget the meat in the sauce! And don't make the pizza too big, or else I ain't payin!

UR #2 PiZzA fAn. <3

Sarah E Olson said...

"I flew here faster than a speeding bullet from Gotham City to deliver your SuperPizza!"

No response.

"I'm the superhero delivery woman from SuperPizza!"

"Oh…I thought the pizza was super, not like, superheros would deliver it."

Joan nudged the pizza towards him.

"Superman is from Metropolis."


"Batman’s from Gotham City, but you’re dressed like Superman. Well, Superwoman. She's probably from Metropolis too."

Joan shrugged. He exchanged the pizza in her hand for a twenty before slamming the door shut.

She mumbled her thanks to the door as she ripped off her cape and shuffled back to her car.

Aaron Pound said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aaron Pound said...

He opened the door naked. Again. His face fell when he saw me.
"Where's Amy?" He ignored the pizza box as I extended it towards him.
"She doesn't deliver to this address anymore."
"But she always delivers here."
"Not since you started answering the door in the buff. We keep a list. Now
you get me."
"It was a mistake," he whined, "I didn't mean to drop my towel."
"You've ordered pizza four times this week. You've answered the door naked
every time." He mumbled unintelligibly and looked at his feet. "You want this pizza or not?"
He looked defeated, his voice came out in a whisper. "Okay."
"That'll be fourteen-fifty." This is the part of my job I hate. Dealing with naked guys looking for Amy.

Anonymous said...

“Hello this is Pizza Express can I take your order?” If he had a dollar for every time he had said that he could leave this crummy job.

“Oh, hello,” said the shaky voice of an old lady. “Do you deliver?”

“Yep.” He groaned at the thought of riding his moped in the pouring rain.

“Excellent. Can I have a large with extra cheese, pepperoni and... do you do liver?”

“Yes, we deliver all over town.”

“No, I said ‘do you do liver?’”

“And I said YES!”

“Aw screw you! Kids these days!”

With a huff, the lady hung up.

yabookreads (at) gmail (dot) com

Thanks for making it internatioanl =]


--Deb said...

“Here’s your pizza.”

“Why is there a tire mark on the box?”

He shrugged. “That’s fifteen even.”

“What did you do? Drive over it?”

He looked back at the car askew at the end of the driveway.

Were those sirens in the distance?

“Look, are you going to pay me or not? I’ve really got to GO.”

Wordlessly I pulled a twenty out of my wallet. He took off, sprinting. I pried the lid up and tore off a strip of cardboard-flavored cheese, trying to figure out how to explain that a car thief had delivered my pizza.

deb (at) punctualityrules (dot) com

penny roth said...

The pizza boy rang the doorbell, knowing he had 30 minutes to deliver.

“What took you so long!” said the girl who opened the door. “I’ve been waiting foreverrrrrrrrrrr!”

“Gimme a break,” the boy panted. “I got here as fast as I could!”

“Not soon enough!” said the girl. “So what do I owe you?”

“This,” he said, as he grabbed her waist and pulled her in.

“Like I said, what took you so long?!” she whispered as she kissed him. Hard.

“If Sal knew I was here he’d fire my ass!” said the boy. Then he kissed her again.

Kulsuma said...

Thanks for making this international!


“Don’t you get sick of eating pizza?” the pizza delivery guy asks.

“Is this some kind of reverse psychology?” I say, handing over the money.

“N-no. What other foods do you like to eat?”

Comprehension dawns and I smile. “Ah, I get it. You doing a survey?”

“...Um, kinda.”

“I like all types of food, French’s my favourite.”

“I’m French.”

“Well now, that’s interesting.”

He seems to gather his courage. “Go on a date with me? You never know, I might become a favourite too.”

I consider it.

“You know what, why not? As long as there are no snails.”

Beth from the Pool said...

He rings the doorbell and a woman, fortish opens the door.

"Hi, ma'am. Large pepperoni pizza. Fourteen ninety-five."

"I ordered plain."

"Sorry about that. I can charge you eight bucks and you can just pick off the pepperoni."

"I hate pepperoni. That's why I ordered plain. I only like plain."

"A plain would be ten bucks. You save two bucks if you just pick it off. You pick it off and you have plain."

"I can still taste it."

"Not hardly. Just pick it off. I'm cutting you a break here."

"Oh, so if I make a pizza with dog shit on it but tell you to 'just pick it off' you would and it 'would be just the same' right?"

"No, I'd still taste the poop. And I'd know it was on there and that would just be gross."

"You say pepperoni, I say poop." Followed by the door closing.

detailsforyou (at) yahoo (dot) com

Anonymous said...

By the third beep of my horn, he finally answered. “Can you get your dog please?” I shouted trapped inside my car.
“He won’t hurt you just bring my pizza to me”.
“Not gonna happen until you get your dog”.
“Look he won’t bite you just get out of your car slowly and don’t make any sudden moves, and you will be fine”.
“Dude, you gotta be kidding me with that! If you don’t come now, you can say good-bye to your pizza”.
“Jesus Christ you’re a whimp”
“Good-bye have a nice evening.”
“Ok ok I’m coming”
Thanks this was kool

Cade said...

"$14.37, please."
"Just a sec."
"$15.37, please."
"What? I thought you said 14!"
"No, I didn't. I said 16."
"But I heard 15."
"Well, let's split the difference."
"Okay, fine. Just gimme my pizza, and you can have your money."
"That'll be $17.37, sir."

Anonymous said...

The transmitter beacon warbled as I opened the door.
"Pizza!" I called to the kids.
"InterGalactic Tony's. Here's your double-cheese with mushroom, no garlic."
"Wait, did you say there was garlic?"
"No, I did not."
"You said ‘garlic.’"
"Only to say that there was no garlic."
"No garlic?"
"You said it again. But—well-timed and still hot—I’m satisfied."
"Excellent. Please place your thumbprint, retinal scan, and one follicle on the dotted line." I did and he handed me the pizza. “Good day, sir or madam.”
I snorted. ‘Sir or madam.’ Earthlings were idiots, but they made good pizza.

Dawn (dot) Metcalf (at) gmail (dot) com. RTed @dawnmetcalf !!

Val said...


"Hello.... Who's there?"
"Pizza for you miss"
Kara opens the door slowly peeking out.
"Umm. It's like midnight and I didn't order a pizza."
"Are you sure you didn't miss?"

What is it with this guy and his weird russian accent? Kara thought.

"Like I said, no I didn't"

"I give to you... for free! You no hungry?"

"Look weirdo, your really starting to creep me out. No I'm not hungry, and no I don't want pizza!"

"Aw well too bad because I am !!!"

Weird russian guy sprouts fangs and bites Kara on the neck.

He was a vampire all along....

dun dun dun...

truthbetold004 at gmail dot com

cute giveaway. Your novel sounds really interesting.

Anonymous said...

Last minute entry coming in; I just found out about the contest through twitter a little while ago! =)

My email address is seshennu(AT)gmail(DOT)com .


As thunder crashes, he rings the doorbell again, and finally, it opens.

"Hey man, I've been waiting for-- woah! What's with the getup? You throwing a costume party?"

"What? What's that? Bah, just give me my dinner."

"Right, right," he says and shifts the stack of pizzas into waiting arms. "That'll be fifty-five-- geez! Was that a scream? What's going on in there?"

"Highway robbery, that's what! Fifty-five dollars? Igor! Igor, you useless lump! Fetch me my other wallet!"

"But the creature, he wakes!" a rasping voice calls back from somewhere inside.

"Y'know what? Nevermind. It's on the house tonight."

Isabel said...

"Give me my pizza!"

"Never! You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!"

The sound of sliding metal, and the clink of steel-on-steel.

"You cur! That delicious entree is mine, and mine alone!"

"Forsooth, yet it is in my possession."

Footsteps, and the sound of a chase in the hall.

"Ha ha! You are no match for me. Surrender now!"

"On my honor, I shall not!"

"Then you shall fall."

A wail of anguish, and the sound of a sword being sheathed.

My neighbor had a special relationship with his pizza delivery man.