Pizza Delivery Contest

Dudes. Check out this beautiful looking book.

Want to win one? Like...a few weeks before you can actually buy one? Here's your chance.

CHALLENGE:

• Write a scene of dialogue between pizza delivery person and client.
• Maximum ten lines of dialogue. (Yes, you can use narrative in between, but I'm in this for the dialogue. The show-don't-tell sort of dialogue I love. So, for those of you planning on writing a more narrative-heavy scene, your WORD LIMIT IS 100 words!)
• I don't care what format you use (script, quotes, whatever, so long as I can follow.)
• I don't care what POV or tense you use either.

EXAMPLE:

He opens the door after I knock twice. "Hi."
"Hi. That'll be nineteen fifty," I say.
"You mean nineteen fifty please."
"What?"
"You didn't say please," he says.
I squint at him. "Look. Do you want your pizza or what?"
"Uh yeah."
"You mean Uh yeah please, right?"
"How much was it again?" he asks.
"Nineteen fifty."


WHAT TO DO: Put your entry in the comments and DON'T FORGET your EMAIL! (safe format = You (at) here (dot) com) This contest is open to international contestants!

DEADLINE: Friday October 1st, 2010 11:59PM EST.

PRIZE: A signed copy of Please Ignore Vera Dietz. 

BONUS: If we get more than 30 entries, I'll pick a second winner. So spread the word.


Good luck! 

Random Shout Outs:

Lenore from Presenting Lenore reviewed Please Ignore Vera Dietz. "It’s an engrossing, touching, and funny read – very different from King’s debut THE DUST OF 100 DOGS but just as special."

Kirstin Cronn-Mills, author of one of my favorite books of 2009, THE SKY ALWAYS HEARS ME BUT THE HILLS DON'T MIND, has posted an OUTLAW interview with me today. Check it out here and yes, I do own similar boots.


If you haven't heard of it yet, you have to check out this blog run by the Random House Children's sales reps. It's called Random Acts of Reading and it's awesome.

See you Friday!

YOU are invited.

Aaron's Books

43 South Broad Street
Lititz, PA 17543

 

I Am Totally Late to BBAW.

BBAW is Book Blogger Appreciation Week. It was last week. I am so late. But I wanted to write a quick post about book bloggers because my respect and appreciation for book bloggers is enormous.

My first book, The Dust of 100 Dogs, was largely promoted by book bloggers who spread the word and helped it see quite a bit of success for a quirky book published by a groovy mid-sized indy publisher that didn't get into some chain stores right away. In fact, we're in our 5th printing now, so I feel I owe A LOT of love to book bloggers for this. A lot. Like--skyscraper-sized love. (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!)

Now that my next book, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is coming out, I knew the book blogging community would spread the word again, which they are certainly doing. I did think we'd have less trouble with availability this time around, though...but I was wrong. I found out from Random House that chain availability might be spotty (or even non-existent in places) which caused a ripple of mixed feelings.

(Please--if you want to buy VERA DIETZ, check availability first. Buy it from an independent bookstore, or online through your favorite retailer (including indie online stores!) But if you want to buy in-store at a chain, please call ahead to check if they have it first. It's a bummer, I know, but what we often forget as readers is: most chain stores are a little like top 40 radio stations. They don't carry every book that's released, and so, if you want something a little out of the ordinary, you might have to order it.)

*ANYWAY--Back to the awesomeness of the book blogging community.*
When I discovered that chain availability was going to be scattered (after a deep sigh and the usual cursing) I called out to my book blogging friends and said, "Um. Please Help?" And do you know what the response was?
YES. OF COURSE. PLEASE LET US HELP YOU.
Reader, can you feel the love?
Because I sure could. I admit, this Vulcan dropped a small tear at the thought of it. So, to those bloggers--you know who you are--thank you so very much for your help and your brains and your time and your generosity. And your solidarity. I appreciate it more than I can really express without offering you a herd of camels or something.

In conclusion:
Book bloggers are generous, yes, and friendly and sweet and all those things. But I bet there's something you didn't know about them that I do. They are all SUPERHEROES. They hold down jobs, go to college or high school and have lives, just like the rest of us...and yet they read many books per week and manage to entertain and educate us about what they're reading through their blogs. Seriously. Book bloggers are from a planet where either the days are longer than 24 hours, creatures have twice the amount of energy than regular humans or do not require to sleep.

Yes. I've said it. Book bloggers are BENEVOLENT SUPERHERO ALIENS.
Sorry to blow your cover, guys. But I just couldn't hold in the secret anymore. And yes, I'm talking to all of you. Even if you hate me or my books. Don't care. You rock. Full stop. Don't know how you do it but I sure as hell hope you keep on writing, because the reading world would be a poorer place without you.

This past week, Please Ignore Vera Dietz reviews have started to pop up on some wonderful blogs:

Michelle from Michelle's Minions made my Monday morning with this line: "Fans of John Green will love this quirky and original book." Her review concludes: "This is a story that will leave you feeling a little bit sad. It will make you laugh, leave you thinking, surprise you and even make you feel a little bit liberated. If you are looking for an intelligent, edgy and unusual book, I highly recommend Please Ignore Vera Dietz."

Reading Junkie shared her review this weekend:  "A.S. King draws readers into Vera's world and then slowly peels away the layers to reveal each and every secret.  The characters speak realistically and the situations ring true making King's story flow smoothly despite the many shifts in focus.  This novel will please King's fans and earn her many new ones."

Ravenous Reader said: " . . . you may be left haunted by some of its darker moments but A.S. King has the power to create a story that while compelling, brutal and comically twisted you will be glad that you have read it."

A review over at Sarah's Random Musings said: ". . .[A.S. King's] writing is insightful and heartbreaking, while inspiring and beautiful in the turn of a page. Please Ignore Vera Dietz is more than a coming of age story. It is one of those books that after you read it, you will be just thinking "Wow!""

A huge thank you to all of you dedicated book bloggers out there for your hard work.
You all rock.
Mightily.
Live long and prosper.

Now I'm off to the NAIBA conference.
See you later this week where I will reveal the evil pizza-related plan.

Speaking Up About SPEAK

Last night, I was alerted to the usual book banning crowd rising up, as they do every September during Banned Books Week, to spew incorrect information about wonderful literature based on their own limited ideas of what is "good" and "appropriate" for your children and my children to read. I was alerted via a post on a bookseller's blog in which she quoted one of these banners completely misrepresenting one of the more important books for teens I've read in a long time--SPEAK by Laurie Halse Anderson.

Laurie wrote about this situation today, and I'd like very much if you could read her blog because it will give you an idea of what's going on and why I'm writing this post. I agree with Laurie that anyone who considers rape a "pornographic sex act" has a really messed-up and disturbing view of sexuality. More importantly for me, why anyone would spend time banning books when news stories like this are still commonplace (That's a link to last week's ABC story about how 1 in 4 girls will be the victim of rape or attempted rape before they graduate college...and this is a rough estimate. Most in the field estimate the ratio to be closer to 1 in 3) is beyond me. Let me tell you, if I had time on my hands and wanted to restore morality to the world, I'd try to bring attention to this blatantly overlooked epidemic in our society. Rape. It's still happening. A lot. Not just to girls, either. And if one in four people in our community had swine flu or the measles or bed bugs the press would be FREAKING OUT.

So what about those young people who are survivors of rape? What about the young girls and boys who have already had this happen to them? How do they feel in this society where people judge them for what happened to them...in this society where we can't talk openly about this invisible epidemic? I wrote an essay about SPEAK last year as my answer to this question. I'll share it below.

This essay first appeared at the blog Presenting Lenore during SPEAK's 10th anniversary.

A.S. King Speaks Up About Speak

I was thirty-eight when I first read SPEAK. From the minute I started, the book had me hooked and I read it in one sitting. I suppose part of the reason I was hooked was to see Melinda say or do something about what had happened to her. I remember hearing the statistics back when I was in high school. One out of four women and girls is raped or sexually assaulted. I remember mentally lining up the girls in my gym class. xxxX xxxX xxxX xxxX xxxX. That’s a lot of girls walking around with a secret burning through their souls—a secret they never asked for or deserved. A secret with its own secrets.

One scene that really sticks out from SPEAK for me is the scene in the art room where IT arrives and starts talking to her. When he says, “Hello? Anyone home? Are you deaf?” it’s just such a moment of raw emotion as a reader. I want to reach into the book and pull him out and somehow show him that he’s done this to a person—to more than one person. I want to show him that he has ruined people.

Melinda asks, “Why am I so afraid?” and I am there with her, equally afraid and quiet.

Two chapters later, Melinda is home sick, watching daytime TV, in the chapter entitled Oprah, Sally Jesse, Jerry and Me. Halfway through that page, there is a single question. “Was I raped?”

Oprah and Sally Jesse answer the question for us. They tell Melinda that this was not her fault. They tell her that she needs to get these feelings and these thoughts of guilt and self-blame out. This had to be one of the best writing vehicles I’ve read in a long time. Because in real life, we don’t usually talk about uncomfortable things unless it’s sensationalized to the point of TV talk shows, and, in most cases, victims like Melinda are silent. xxxX xxxX xxxX xxxX xxxX xxxX. There are so many.

What Laurie Halse Anderson did when she wrote and published SPEAK, is a favor to all of us—victims or not. She allowed us to talk about something that’s systematically ignored. She allowed us to inspect this secret our society keeps hidden, and by doing so, she freed a great many women and girls from a quiet hell, no matter how normal they acted in public. For so many women, SPEAK is a ticket.

If there is anything I've learned from working alongside survivors during my yearly local V-Day, it's that girls and women in our society are not encouraged to heal from this horror they have endured, generation after generation. What I've learned from SPEAK and from V-Day and Eve Ensler, who has dedicated her life to victims of rape, is that the only way to get from VICTIM to SURVIVOR is to start talking.

Is to....SPEAK.

Rock on, Laurie. You wrote a beautiful book that helps tens of thousands of people. My new book, Please Ignore Vera Dietz, explores exactly what a culture of censorship and forced ignorance can lead to and is a call to speak up about the things you see that are WRONG. This book banning man and his sick and perverted ideas about rape and his attempt to ban wonderful books is wrong.

Some exist to tear things down. Others exist to build things up. Let us continue to build.

COUNTDOWN 28

Twenty-eight days until Please Ignore Vera Dietz and things here are a little crazy.

First--Arizona Tour Dates:
Oct. 21st Thurs: Hamilton High School Teen Reads: Books & Beats
Oct. 22nd Fri: 7pm Chandler Mall Barnes and Noble signing
Oct. 23rd Sat: 4pm Changing Hands Bookstore

Arizona fans--mark your calendars! I can't wait to see you.

Second--The Pizza Delivery Blog Tour is Coming.

Starting October 11th, I'll be popping around to cool people's blogs to deliver them some [imaginary] pizza. The official rules go something like this: They made an order from a toppings menu. (**You'll see it soon.) The order went into the A.S. King random subject generator and several question ideas came out. My hosts then skillfully crafted questions for me and I will now deliver them their answers throughout the months of October and November. Look for links here and on Twitter as the tour unfolds. I have to say--some of these questions were hilarious. We'll kick off with Carrie Jones on October 11th!

**In a week or two, I will open a version of this to all of you here on the blog. Wait for it...wait for it.

Third--Some awesome linkage!

Ravenous Reader read Please Ignore Vera Dietz and reviewed it here. THEN, she started an ARC tour. Last time I checked, there was still a spot left on the list!

Here's a GREAT interview at Ellz Readz. She'll be giving away a few copies of The Dust of 100 Dogs in the next few days. Stay tuned to her blog!

Fourth--Some Local Events

• Don't forget the National Launch Party for Please Ignore Vera Dietz at Aaron's Books in Lititz, PA, October 16th from 6-8pm
• I will be talking about being an author and anything else you want me to talk about at the Exeter Community Library on October 12th (launch day!) from 6-8pm. This is my old hood library and I am completely stoked about this! Thrilled to be a part of the Reading Reads event!
• I'll be doing Teen Reads Books & Beats at Conrad Weiser High School on Monday October 18th followed by a Q&A and meet the author at the [awesome] Robesonia Community Library later that night.
• I'm working on a few more events, so stay tuned for the full first leg tour list in the next week or two!

I'm hammering away here on Everybody Sees the Ants so please excuse me if I'm scare for a while. You know the routine. Until then, live long and prosper.

The Kirkus. The Star. The Review.

You know, it's not every day you get a star from Kirkus Reviews. I'm still pretty gobsmacked. Here it is in all its glory.

PLEASE IGNORE VERA DIETZ

Author: King, A.S.

A star is assigned to books of unusual merit, determined by the editors of Kirkus Reviews.

A harrowing but ultimately redemptive tale of adolescent angst gone awry. Vera and Charlie are lifelong buddies whose relationship is sundered by high school and hormones; by the start of their senior year, the once-inseparable pair is estranged. In the aftermath of Charlie’s sudden death, Vera is set adrift by grief, guilt and the uncomfortable realization that the people closest to her are still, in crucial ways, strangers. As with King’s first novel, The Dust of 100 Dogs (2009), this is chilling and challenging stuff, but her prose here is richly detailed and wryly observant. The story unfolds through authentic dialogue and a nonlinear narrative that shifts fluidly among Vera’s present perspective, flashbacks that illuminate the tragedies she’s endured, brief and often humorous interpolations from “the dead kid,” Vera’s father and even the hilltop pagoda that overlooks their dead-end Pennsylvania town. The author depicts the journey to overcome a legacy of poverty, violence, addiction and ignorance as an arduous one, but Vera’s path glimmers with grace and hope. (Fiction. 14 & up) 

If you still want to win the LAST ARC EVER you have another few days over at Heather Brewer's Blog. And if you're patient, in another few weeks, the contest machine will fire up again. Keep your pencils ready.

And thank you so much for your support. Every one of you who has shared positivity with me, you know who you are. I appreciate it more than you know. Now--off to work on ANTS. See you in a week...or when I've got more good news...whichever comes first.

Ms. Jupiter, Baby! YOU ROCK!

Okay.
Full disclosure.
In my last blog, I was being sarcastic and facetious. I'm pretty sure most of you knew that. I know that sarcasm is sometimes hard to catch and some readers mightn't know that's my thing. But seriously. Read my books, my blogs, my background and then tell me if this is something you'd truly consider after reading my blog from Saturday:

That I am actually soliciting people to commit crimes.

Look. Yes, I wrote that post. Damn right I stand by it. Damn right I got a lot of kudos from other people who lose money the same way I do. Damn right I am not the first author or blogger to talk about this issue. It is what it is and I'm not going to argue about it. If I can get arrested for being facetious and sarcastic, then please, go around and arrest everyone who has said, "Shoot me now," because that is certainly a larger crime to solicit. Geez. Shoot me now, people.

Now. The reason I'm here today. I want to introduce you to a really cool person. I'm going to tell you about someone who wrote to me on Saturday and wanted to take me up on the dare. For realz. Because this teenager has balls the size of Jupiter, we are going to call her Ms. Jupiter. Here is the [authorized] truncated version of the conversation we had via Facebook. Before you judge Ms. Jupiter, know she is not a dummy. She's actually very smart. I know this because we're a little bit alike, just we differ in age by about 25 years. She just very much wanted an opportunity to use those nads-of-planetary-proportions. I've been there.

Ms. Jupiter: I am so up for this stealing thing! I got caught once before and I've stolen books before, so I am totally ready for this!

Me: Jupiter, Did you read the blog...all the way through?

Ms. Jupiter: Yeah. I just need to know what you want in the video and what type of store info you need.

Me: Hmmm. I'm not sure you understood my blog. It was about illegal downloading and how cowardly it is. While I appreciate the idea that you have the guts to go ahead and do this, I don't want you to steal anything. Not the old-style way or the new, gutless internet way. I don't want anyone to steal anything--which is why I don't think you understood my blog.

Ms. Jupiter: Oh. I'm dumb. Sorry. But if you wanted me to, I'd steal it. But since you don't, I won't.

Me: Don't be sorry. Sometimes my writing goes over heads. It's not your fault and you're not dumb. :) The point is: stealing is bad, no matter how you do it. That was the point of the blog.
That said, you getting caught before should have taught you that!!! And stealing more should be the last thing you want to do.
Dude--what's that about??!!

How about this? How about you promise me--pirates honor--that you'll never steal anything again. Not even if you're as poor as I've been (and I've been poor as dirt) and I send you a prize?
Sound fair?
But seriously. Don't just say yes because I'm offering to send you free shit. I want you to stop doing all that stuff that could get you in trouble. Think about it and don't answer me until tomorrow after you sleep on it.
You rock, by the way. You obviously have balls the size of Jupiter. I like that. 

Ms. Jupiter: Yeah. My balls are huge.

Me: And there a great many uses for them that don't involve getting you into trouble!

Ms. Jupiter (the next day): Okay. I'm never stealing again. Deal? The details of how I came to this decision are:  I realized that stealing is pathetic. If you really want something you have to work for it and get the money for it, like my [cool electronic item]. I worked for the money for a nice [cool electronic item], and here I am, on it. And I'm proud that I bought it myself. I got away with stealing a lot before I got caught. I felt like SHIT in the days after I got caught. I didn't get punished by my [parent], but I mentally beat myself up enough. Next time I want to steal something, I will definitely think of you and tell myself no. I will wait for whatever I want to buy, earn it, then buy it and feel accomplished. And thank you, this has taught me an even better lesson than getting caught. 

Me: You just made my day, Ms. Jupiter. In a big way. You know, I was pretty fearless when I was younger, too. I did dumb stuff (hey--don't we ALL do dumb stuff?) and I experimented with things that I shouldn't have, etc. (Actually, in hindsight, my biggest regret is smoking cigarettes. Ugh. I did that for 25 years and it was so dumb.)
Anyway--I appreciate the thought you put into this. You're right. Working hard for something feels way better than not working hard for it. Sometimes it sucks to not be able to have what you want, but we live! Also--there's this line I heard in a song a long time ago. "What your hands do, it's your own eyes that have seen." And it's so true. So what if no one catches you? You still know you did something you shouldn't have. And even though, as ballsy girls, that can sometimes be a buzz, it's not the same sort of buzz as buying that [cool electronic item], right?
And look-- Having balls the size of Jupiter is a great thing. I now use mine for good causes. I support girls and women who've been abused by helping the local people who raise money for them every year at my local VDay event. I help people in my community. I speak out. I taught a lot of people how to read. And now, I write books. All great things to do with Jupiter-sized balls like ours. I can't wait to find out what good you do with yours!

Look. If you skimmed my blog this weekend and think my little 'dare' is a hilarious thing to do with your friends this week because you think I'm going to send you a prize, I'd like to point out the MAJOR CLUES in my last blog that might make you reconsider what I meant by "prize." (Ms. Jupiter got this. She was just thinking about doing it anyway. But in case you didn't...)


Clue #1--when you videotape yourself committing a crime, that video will be used against you in court.
Clue #2--when you send me the name of the store you stole from, then I can contact that store and show them #1.
Clue #3--when you give me the location of the store, I can then contact the local police and send them #1 & #2.
Clue #4--Do you really need these clues to figure out what the prize is? If so...
Clue #5--The prize may involve someone in a uniform coming to your house.
Clue #6--The uniform will probably not be a pizza delivery uniform.
Clue #7--Depending on your past, the prize may involve a gavel, a robe and uncomfortable chairs.
Clue #8--You need a clue #8? Then please. Download my books off the internet for free and read them. It's been proven that reading for fun increases intelligence, comprehension skills and widens one's general understanding of the world around them.

Seriously. I don't care about the money. And I'm not all that pissed off. This shit comes with being an author and the digital world that we live in. Like I said in the comment trail: I agree that there are bizarre positives that come out of people stealing my books. I will admit, though, that I only agree with it as a method of making lemonade out of the lemony fact that there is very little we can do about this even though it is a federal crime and we are the ones paying for it.

I wrote this weekend's blog because of the millions and millions of people out there who are stealing right this very minute and either don't know it or don't care. I didn't write it because I think it will make them stop. (Oh PLEASE if you follow no other links in this blog, please follow this one to my new favorite internet vigilante FIND A PIRATE.) I wrote it because when I sat down and did the simple math (as opposed to the excuse-making anti-copyright bizarro math) I realized that in a few years and a few more books, my kid's' college education might have the chance to be paid for with the royalties I will lose from those books if the people who steal actually bought.*

That's all.

*Those who want to pick it apart again and say, "But how can you prove those people would have bought the book!!??" Read that sentence again. Try to understand the words in the order in which they are used. "If the people who steal actually bought."

And hey--Ms. Jupiter you ROCK. And I can't wait to see what you do with that mettle you've got. I hope you stay in touch and keep trying to make good decisions. Thank you so much for being open and smart and thoughtful and FREAKING AWESOME. To those of you reading this who now think I will send you free stuff and call you awesome if you tell me that you intended to steal the book like Ms. Jupiter did, please. Don't. Move on. Do something productive today. Read a book. Learn how to make origami birds. Enjoy the autumn weather and take a walk. And seeing it's Labor Day here in the USA, think about why we have a holiday to recognize the efforts of the average working man. And figure out how that relates to the blog that started this discussion.

A Pirate's Dare

(Before we start I want to define "downloading a book for free." I'm talking about modern copyrighted material. There ARE books out there in the public domain that you can get for free. I'm not sure if I'm all that happy about that, but that is NOT the type of thing I'm talking about. I am talking about illegal downloads of copyrighted material. Also--this isn't a discussion about ebooks. I love ebooks. I am a complete geek and love the idea of technology that allows me to read on my little ereader. Yes. I own one. And yes. I buy ebooks the same as I buy paper books.  And for the record, no, I do not think all ebooks should cost a dollar. Regardless of format, authors work damn hard.)

This morning, thanks to some [sarcasm] really smart person [/sarcasm] on Twitter who tweeted a link to a free copy of my book, I found a site that had 8 illegal copies of my book which boasted about 800 downloads. If I do the math right, that's dinner for my kids for about 8-12 months. I'd estimate that over the last 18 months since some pirate made that horrible homemade copy of my book (by the way, dork, you skipped some pages and can't scan worth a crap) there have been at least three times that number of illegal downloads of my book. My first thoughts:  Thanks a million, cowardly thieving people. Seriously. Grow a pair. I dare you to steal it from a shelf in a store. Lily-livered poltroons.

Then, the idea of that dare grew on me. I knew kids (and adults) who shoplifted in my life. I could never do it. I just didn't have the guts. Plus, I never forgot that day when I was five and I stole a few pieces of that pick-your-own candy from the grocery store and my father saw me with it when we were loading the car and he took me back in and made me give it back to the manager and apologize. I was so ashamed. I cried the whole time.

See, as a five-year-old, my line of thinking was selfish and immature. And simple. It went like this: I WANT THAT CANDY. So I took it. That's how IMMATURE FIVE-YEAR-OLDS THINK.

As a forty-year-old (and as a twenty-year-old and the thirty-year-old, for that matter) I'm a little more mature. If I see something I want, say--an iPad, I think: I WANT THAT IPAD and then I look in my bank account and realize people like me can't afford iPads. And I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is the reason I can't afford that iPad (Or, more accurately, my daughters' college tuition, or maybe even dinner or rent in another month or two) is because a bunch of entitled spoiled little cowards have stolen my book rather than bought it. I guarantee you that the people who steal from me would be really pissed off if someone did the same thing to them. And they would also be Appalled! Outraged! Insulted! if someone degraded and shrugged off the hard work they do in a day. And they're probably complaining right now about how awful this economy is. Ah, irony.

Anyway. When I clicked the abuse button at the site where I found the file and reported these 8 illegal copies, this is the form letter I got back from the "file sharing" site. (Formerly known as a "safe house.")

Hello,

Sorry for inconveniences you have encountered! 
We have deactivated the links to the illegal files mentioned in your e-mails.

Please note that we do not upload anything to our site.
All file uploading is performed by [deleted] registered users. 

In the interest of full disclosure, my reply to this was:

I thank you for your cooperation! I hope you removed all 8 files. I've linked them all below in case you need to double check.

I appreciate that you don't upload that material yourself.
However, your site exists so thieves can share the things they steal and then proudly tweet about it.
In law, people who safely house criminals are also prosecuted. Shame you can't see yourself in the same light and police OBVIOUSLY copyrighted material to prove that your heart is in the right place. As of today, sites like yours have encouraged that my daughter's first semester at college be stolen from her.

I don't call that an inconvenience. I call it illegal.

So here's my dare.
Pirate-lover to pirate-lover:

Anyone reading this who has ever downloaded a book for free, and is now making all those lame excuses I always hear:

• "I can't get a copy in my local bookstore!" (Order it. Get it from a library. Buy the ebook version.)
• "I'm too poor!" (Try being that poor and raising two kids--welcome to my life. Deal with it and don't want shit you can't afford. Duh.) 
• Or my favorite, "I'm just like a library!" (Uh--no you're not. You're a five-year-old . Last time I checked, most librarians required an MLS and a modicum of integrity.)

You (#1) video yourself stealing my book from a bookstore and send me the video or link me to it if it's on a video sharing site, give me the (#2) name of the store and (#3) location of the store, and I'll send you a small, book-related prize for actually having guts. No prize if I don't get all three things. If you're finally going to grow up and have some mettle, I want full disclosure and real-live gonads here. (And I know what those look like because if I didn't own a pair myself, my books wouldn't be out there for you to steal from me.)


This dare has no deadline or cutoff date. I will happily accept entries until the end of time.


A Special Note to Parents: If your children are planning on taking me up on this dare, don't blame me for their stupidity. You should have taken them to the manager of the grocery store like my father did to me. And if you're too late for that, and this is your first realization that those free books and movies and songs they download are no different than them stuffing DVD cases down their pants in the local Target, then why not use this as an opportunity to teach them? There may be no physical manager to make them apologize to, but you can always erase the illegal files off their drives (in my house, I'd take the computer, wipe it clean and donate it) and make them apologize to every author they stole from. We all have accessible email addresses. Hell, if you want, just have them send the apologies to me and I'll make sure they get to the authors who need to see them.

And parents: if you're shrugging thinking, "it's no big deal." then look at this.  And look at this.  Or this. And if you're really that happy to be that dumb about this stuff, then here's a basic education about how if your under-18 kid has illegal files on his/her computer, it could be YOUR ASS and YOUR WALLET that pays.

Have some freaking respect people. For my kids. For my hard work. And for yourself.

*climbs off soapbox* *bows to appreciative audience*


If you are actually considering this dare, PLEASE See FOLLOW-UP Post HERE.

Adding MONTHS later: If you want to see the positive impact posts like this can make, go here.

*thanks Lesley Livingston for making me look, even though I didn't want to look.*
(We really shouldn't have to spend every Saturday morning doing this, Lesley. You're dead right about that)

ALL COMMENTS HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF FOR THIS POST.

THE VERY LAST ARC EVER GIVEAWAY

Seriously. 

This is the last Advanced Reader Copy of Please Ignore Vera Dietz you will ever be able to get your hands on. Heather Brewer is giving it away over on her blog.

Check it out.

ADDING:
It has been brought to my attention that the title of this blog SHOULD read:
THE VERY LAST ARC EVER GIVEAWAY...except for the one that might happen later thanks to a generous person whose name starts with L.
Indeed you may have one more chance to win an ARC.
I mean...if you're lucky.