Sunday, August 22, 2010

Untitled Janet Contest #254 (Reprise)

**Sorry for the late Tweet that sent you here! This contest is over but stay tuned for a new contest next week! (And the week after that, and the week after that...)**

My Motto: Corn is Good.
I'm putting this contest up a day early because tomorrow is corn day at the King house. That means we prep/blanch/freeze about 150 ears of corn for winter.

Want to win an ARC of Please Ignore Vera Dietz? All you have to do is follow 3 little rules, and you're in. Go crazy. You have a whole week!

  1. Your story MUST start with this sentence: Janet was early. **
  2. Your story MUST end with this sentence: Of course, she didn't know that.
  3. Your story must be 100 words or less.
DEADLINE: Friday, August 27th at 11:59PM EST
PRIZE: A signed Advance Reader Copy (ARC) of PLEASE IGNORE VERA DIETZ.
Please leave your entry in the comment area and don't forget your email address!

Winner chosen by three anonymous judges, a cosmic hamster and a magic 8 ball and will be announced on Monday, August 30th.

Good Luck!

** The author would like it known that by choosing the name Janet for the first sentence, she is not referring to any specific Janet she knows or any that you might know either. This can be any Janet. It was just the first name that came to me, and so, we're stuck with it. Your Janet can be a dolphin for all I care. The story can be in second person omniscient and be from the point of view of a microscopic skin cell that fell off Janet. Technically, Janet doesn't even have to appear again after that first sentence. I don't mind. Just tell me a story and follow the rules above, and we're good. 


Kate E. said...

Great contest...

Janet was early. Being early was not something Janet was known for. Now being late, that was a different story. Amelia was already there, on the extra chair in Janet’s room, but Janet didn’t see her. That tends to happen, when one has the power to be invisible. Janet wouldn’t see her until Amelia wanted her too, and now was not the time. Amelia had been sent to become friends with Janet, to keep watch. Their friendship was a charade, all in preparation for the day Janet would gain her powers. Of course, she didn’t know that.


Joanne Levy said...

I love your contests!

Janet was early.
‘Better early than late’, grandma always said—Grandma, who’d been successful at love (she had twelve children, so knew a little thing about being late). But today Janet was just early to the restaurant.
“What am I doing?” she murmured. She trailed her finger through the beads of condensation on the water glass “Another blind date. Another potential disaster.”
But it wouldn’t be another disaster. Tonight’s date, after the inevitable awkward conversation and mediocre food, would be the beginning of something epic. Because Batman was coming, and he needed heirs.
Of course, she didn't know that.


Crystal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crystal said...

Janet was early all the time. She found she was early so often that she tried to make herself late on purpose. She found none of her tricks ever seemed to work. She would set her alarm clock late; she would take extra time in the shower. She’d dress slow, drive slow, walk slow; it never worked. She tried walking backwards once too, and then was so frustrated she tried walking on her hands, but even that didn’t work. Finally, her husband couldn’t help it, and set her clock to the right time. Of course, she didn't know that.
(forgot my email)

Anonymous said...

Alan Vogel

‎"Janet was early for the first time in her life. She was surprised, but she certainly didn’t freak out like she did earlier in the year when she was late. Truth was, being early did remind her of the one time she was really late and she di...d suffer a momentary panic attack. And then she laughed because life was very good what with the new job and the move to the city and then meeting that guy the other night. Unwed and jobless she would give birth to triplets ten months later, but, of course, she didn’t know that."

What I'd really like is another short story. But....I'm a realist.

Joelle said...

Janet was early to her own wedding. About ten years early, in fact. And this time, she was going to live her life right, so she’d fit into her wedding dress. She’d hunted down that fortune teller game from the movie Big and made her wish – to go back in time and control her snacking so she didn’t gain the Freshman Fifteen or the Terrible Twenty during grad school. By messing with time though, she would inadvertently miss the moment at the baseball stadium snack bar where she met her fiancé. Of course, she didn’t know that.

Joelle Anthony
restoringharmony10 at

Cathy said...

Janet was early. As she glanced down at the note in her hand, she wondered what she was doing at the gazebo in McLeod Park this late at night. Jed’s note didn’t give her a reason for the meeting but she had a feeling she knew why. For the past few months, Jed had been looking at her all the time, following her around school and she even spotted him wandering around her neighborhood. What Jed forgot to include in the note was the real reason for the meeting. Jed wanted to kill her. Of course, she didn’t know that.

Cathy Janovitz

Rob Britt said...

Janet was early…early for her anyway, which meant she was only slightly late. In the grand scheme of things she felt that punctuality was anal-retentive behavior. She strolled over to the break room and quietly poured a cup of coffee into her favorite “what, me worry?” mug. She blew gently on the piping hot fluid to cool it down, reflecting on the ripple effects in the java. The ripples would turn into a tidal wave as she entered her office where her boss was waiting.
Of course, she didn’t know that.

Sara J. Henry said...

Janet was early. Of course, she didn't know that.

Eileen Cruz Coleman said...

Janet was early. Death sat at the end of a long table, sweat beading down his face. Janet was his new assistant. She took a step towards him; he shot up and a second later stood in front of her, his mouth an inch from her forehead. “Arriving early does not impress me,” he said. “I’m sorry--” she said.
“Apologies do not impress me either,” he said. What impressed Death was Janet’s ability to scare the crap out him with her mere presence. Of course, she didn’t know that.

ecruzcoleman at

penny roth said...

Janet was early. She arrived fifteen minutes before the bell to avoid their stares. The last thing she needed today was to parade by their pitying eyes as she entered those dreaded double doors. She found her seat in homeroom, took out her iPod and put on her headphones to block out the world. She closed her eyes and listened to the lyrics. How do they always know how to say what she’s thinking? She waited anxiously for the rest of the class to arrive. But no one was coming to school that day. Of course, she didn't know that.

(100 words exactly!) xoxo, pr

Karoline said...

Janet was early, but of course she didn't know that.

Janet was brilliant at the alphabet, knowing it in all directions known to man. She was brilliant at juggling, once having juggled three cups and a lit candle at the same time with no accidents. And she was brilliant at making glass break by singing high notes.

She just couldn't tell time. But then again Janet was a monkey, making this a thing to be expected. It was all her other nuances of brilliance that surprised people.
(cool contest!)

Leah Anderson said...

Janet was early. They nearly collided at the entrance. He had rehearsed this scenario in his mind many times…but he was always at the table waiting for her. He inhaled deeply when they were seated. Janet began to weep softly and drone on about her day…she was upset about work, about her hairdresser, about this and that and this and that. Her tears began to repulse him. Was he invisible? Did anything exist beyond the end of her French manicure? There was nothing to tell her now…he had changed his mind about leaving Alice. Of course, she didn’t know that.

Unknown said...

Janet was early, which is why she could have passed for a skinned-alive squirrel dressed in a diaper and a melon-sized wad of gauze. Tubes and wires roamed in and out of her flimsy meat under the bandages and right through her skull, thin as an empty robin shell. Inside that bone she was supposed to have memories. That was the plan. She was supposed to be a perfect clone of the perfect child who had expired, forgotten in a car seat on a summer day. That was Janet 1.0. This was Janet 2.0. Of course, she didn’t know that.

- - -

I hereby disqualify myself. This entry violates the rules--I've included additional words in the first sentence. If I'd spent more time, I could have fixed that. And I think I could have included a hamster; that would have been good.


Hayley Lovell said...

Janet was early. And all she could think of, as she sat down in the center of the room, was ‘who shows up early for their own execution?’ apparently she did. Soon the people she loved would sit in the stands and watch the elders end her. She wondered what Max would think, if after everything he still cared? Probably not, but at least she’d get to see him one last time, tell him she loved him and say goodbye. Max wouldn’t show, and she would die without ever seeing him again. Of course, she didn’t know that.


Unknown said...

Janet was early.

His mother was so shocked at giving birth four weeks premature – not mention, he wasn’t the daughter she had expected – that she couldn’t think of another name besides the one already picked out. So he got stuck with Janet instead of William or Matthew, but it could have been worse: she could have wanted a Britney or Lacey instead.

Janet was smart to set everyone straight on the first day of preschool and, after pulling hair and punching noses, he became just Jay who later turned out to be a hermaphrodite.

Of course, she didn’t know that.

Hmmm, I could've done better. Oh, well. I tried :)



Unknown said...

Janet was early, as was her custom. She found lateness rude. However, today would have been the perfect day to be late. If she would have known what was waiting for her, she would have arrived 15 minutes later. Amazing how 15 minutes can change your life. The minute she saw him, she knew. Her mind screamed “run” but her feet stayed put. She could not take her eyes off him. He was not expecting her. He was ready to leave when she showed up. Only 15 minutes later, she would have missed him. Of course, she didn't know that.

Thank you!

Sabrina E. Ogden said...

Janet was early. She was the only Mormon on the block that didn’t follow Mormon standard time. Why she bothered to be punctual at all annoyed her. The Bishop had scheduled her meeting for 12:00 sharp, but even Janet knew it was a polite way of saying 12:30. Under the impression that this was just a social visit, Janet pulled out her copy of Lover Mine, by J.R. Ward and started reading it to fill the time. This was her only vice. Unfortunately, the Black Dagger Brotherhood was the reason for the visit. Of course, she didn’t know that.

Anna Montgomery said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anna Montgomery said...

Janet was early. Luckily, the sabotage was in place. Archie was on top of breaking any dishes or glasses left out. Melissa had been digging in all the potted plants like a zealot. Moose agreed to miss the litter box, despite his fear of germs. Pandora gracefully weaved through everyone’s legs as they walked. Pikachu stole food when they weren’t looking. Blossom was as overly cute and playful as she could be—who needed a seventh cat?
In toddled Janet, on two feet, squeeling, “KITTY!” Blossom froze, realizing Janet was the granddaughter. Of course, she didn’t know that.


markmmm74 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
markmmm74 said...

Great contest.

Janet was early to awaken from a dead sleep. Bringing a pair of bright lively eyes to the window, covered with venetian blinds,
saw darkness peeking through it’s crevices. Almost immediately upon her venturing from her slumber, Janet blasted out a series of vicious coughs. Okay, there’s no sitting in my college writing
course today, she thought, feeling relief quickly rise up within
her in a mad rush. Good thing too, for plaque ridden rats were
going about her community, bitting people, turning them into flesh
hungry zombies. Of course, she didn’t know that.

Liberty said...

Janet was early. She knew she was supposed to wait longer before returning to the home she shared with her husband, Clyde, but the anticipation of finding him dead was too great. She had rehearsed her screams and her 911 call over and over in her car that morning. Merle had told Janet to wait at least an hour, after he texted her, before going home. (Merle was the man she had hired, through the internet, to murder Clyde. He was also an undercover cop. Of course, she didn't know that.)

Love and hisses,

Miss Liberty

--Deb said...

Janet was early. Her hair had behaved, she hadn’t spilled her coffee, and her boyfriend wasn’t there to distract her. So far as she knew, today was a miracle of schedule bliss, with everything falling into place so that she was exactly six minutes ahead of schedule.
Three miles away, a Basque terrorist was planting a car bomb right next to her bus stop, scheduled to go off five minutes before her usual, hurried arrival.
Of course, she didn’t know that.

deb AT punctualityrules DOT com

Shanni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shanni said...

Janet was early. She darted from place to place in a pink, silk cape, which made her fashionable early for every engagement. Standing in front of a rustic store front, Janet admired her well put together super-girl outfit. But her self-gazing was disturbed by the chic, crystal, high top boots displayed in the window, which seemed to be calling her name. “I have to have them”, she exclaimed. Janet glided into the empty shop and looked around for a shop keeper. Kryptonite zombies were afoot, but because fashion was her weakness, of course she didn’t know that.


Beth from pool said...

Janet was early. After years of her husband cheating on her with her friend, Mary, she was going to confront Mary since repeatedly asking him to stop had been ignored. Mary had been dreading this day since the affair began. But Janet wasn't going to confront Mary as head on as Mary feared. Janet had been fucking, Jim, Mary's husband. Of course, she didn't know that.