Next Ten D100D Mad Libs

Okay WOAH. Stop here. You have to see this. A bunch of generous and wonderful reviewers, authors and bloggers got together for Reviewer X and made an AMAZING contest to help me celebrate the release of The Dust of 100 Dogs. YOU NEED TO CHECK IT OUT BECAUSE YOU COULD WIN $300 WORTH OF STUFF. Yeah. I said $300 worth of FREE STUFF. How grateful am I to be surrounded by such supportive people? Pretty flipping grateful. Now - on with the fun. 10 more Mad Libs. There are some real beauties in here. Thanks so much for playing!

1. Imagine my surprise when, after four heartbeats of detoxifying with eggplants over a spare dry spank and laughing my magic eight ball from a milquetoast, I was given a fragrant, audacious ramora, all to myself, filled with undulant trattoria. I say it was fragrant because Sadie Adams, my mother, has dulcet livers, something I never inherited. Thanks Joanne! I have also detoxified with eggplant over a dry spank. Nothing like it - Amiright?
2. Imagine my surprise when, after four minutes of licking with toes over a spare gigantic taco and beating my tree from a squirrel, I was given a clumsy wooden water, all to myself, filled with drowsy fur I say it was clumsy because Sadie Adams, my mother, has graceful teeth, something I never inherited. Oh Hilary! I am so loving your spare gigantic taco! Thanks!
3. Imagine my surprise when, after a Christmas of alleviating with horcruxes over a spare ghastly Obama and liquidating my oatmeal from an ear, I was given a disturbed motionless cemetery, all to myself, filled with adorable cheese. I say it was disturbed because Sadie Adams, my mother, has hissing zephyrs, something I never inherited. Thanks Genevieve! Sorry to hear about having to liquidate the oatmeal from an ear. Ew. But I’m all for adorable cheese.
4. Imagine my surprise when, after 3 milliseconds of quacking with mermaids over a spare sexy shoe and tickling my train from a movie, I was given a silly awesome rabbit, all to myself, filled with orange bagels.. I say it was silly because Sadie Adams, my mother, has fat bubbles, something I never inherited. Thanks Lex! I would *kill* for a silly awesome rabbit filled with orange bagels right now. Seriously.
5. Imagine my surprise when, after 857 minutes of cackling with toasters over a spare zesty bassoon and frolicking my tombstone from a bus, I was given a striped harmonious caravel, all to myself, filled with a lumpy tower. I say it was striped because Sadie Adams, my mother, has breathless frogs, something I never inherited. Thanks Jocelyn! Sorry to hear about the frogs. :(
6. Imagine my surprise when, after 17 minutes of pretending with purple people eaters over a spare spicy yeti and smashing my caterpillar from a toast, I was given a psychedelic rotten crossbow, all to myself, filled with violent trombones. I say I say it was psychedelic because Sadie Adams, my mother, has stealthy cupcakes, something I never inherited. LOL. Thanks pepsivanilla! I’m afraid I did inherit the stealthy cupcakes in my family. But it helps me wield the psychedelic rotten crossbow, so I can’t complain.
7. Imagine my surprise when, after 666 coffee breaks of seducing with electricians over a spare statuesque autopsy and blathering my windshield from a zither, I was given a clandestine glandular Civil Libertarian all to myself, filled with deflated kangaroos I say it was clandestine because Sadie Adams, my mother, has prehistoric refrigerators, something I never inherited. Thanks Kitten! How come I never get a clandestine glandular Civil Libertarian filled with deflated kangaroos? Seriously? Am I doing something wrong?
8. Imagine my surprise when, after three centuries of lactating with rhesus monkeys over a spare flagrant toilet brush and undulating my perforation from a dynasty, I was given a pusillanimous, glistening hedgehog all to myself, filled with polymorphously perverse nipple. I say it was pusillanimous because Sadie Adams, my mother, has hectoring sea hags, something I never inherited. Thanks Stephanie! I had no idea it was okay to admit that I’d lactated with rhesus monkeys. Now, I feel like I can say anything.
9. Imagine my surprise when, after .0057 nanoseconds of killing with hookers over a spare sharp Burger King and sexing up my Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and wizardry from Edward Cullen, I was given a dumbass sparkly Pennsylvania, all to myself, filled with shiny brothel. I say it was dumbass because Sadie Adams, my mother, has enormous knickers, something I never inherited. Thanks anonymous! I hope you didn’t feel like you had to stay anonymous because of the enormous knickers. Really. You are not alone.
10. Imagine my surprise when, after 100 eons of pirating with dogs over a spare bogus ipod and running my book from a sweatshirt, I was given a smelly attractive case, all to myself, filled with filthy television. I say it was smelly because Sadie Adams, my mother, has new bottles, something I never inherited. Thanks xollinzolox! I totally agree about television. Totally.

Here are the other ongoing contests if you feel like winning a SIGNED COPY of The Dust of 100 Dogs! Random Vegetable Contest #43 - Deadline Sunday, February 1st 5PM EST. 10 Words Contest - Deadline Sunday February 1st 9PM EST. Back in another hour with the last of these! And a winner! Have you signed the Guest Book? ------------------------------------------------------------->