Monday, January 26, 2009

(TRPoDPI) + Contest

It's five days until The Dust of 100 Dogs starts hitting shelves near you. When better to share a totally random piece of dorky personal information with readers? Totally Random Piece of Dorky Personal Information (TRPoDPI) You might already know this about me, but I have a thing for numbers. Nothing too academic or complicated - just a thing. Maybe it's a writer's OCD, but I like things to be balanced numerically in my books. The Dust of 100 Dogs has three parts, and used to have nine Dog Facts. But as I hacked away at the book over the years, some Dog Facts got cut, some new ones got written and in the end I landed with eight. Since I like things to be balanced, I always felt the gap of that missing Dog Fact. And so, I created this blog and named it Dog Fact #9. Story = Beginning + Middle + End Contest Challenge: Can you write a story in three sentences? Winner chosen by 4 anonymous judges and announced on Thursday. Please leave your sentence in the comment area - don't forget to leave your email address! DEADLINE: Tuesday Jan. 27th 2009, 11PM EST (TOMORROW.) PRIZE: A signed copy of The Dust of 100 Dogs and a VOG** Good Luck and Thanks For Playing! (**VOG = very odd gift)


Anonymous said...

One upon a time, our hero was born. He fought in some battles and stuff growing up. He died of old age on the battle field.

Liv said...

One day, Lucy decided to take a walk in the forest. There she met a bear who quickly ate her up. Her family mourned her tragic death.


Carolyn Burns Bass said...

Dang! I'm not the first. Here's to you and the D100D anyway:

The legendary dagger Calliope was sharp and cool as I slid my tongue across the edge just as I’d seen the one-eyed glommer do at the Pike. Rust from the ancient blade mixed with the juice of my mouth, its irony flavor so red in its pungent taste I spit. Not rust, but blood and the tip of my tongue still flapping with disbelief spread across the Persian carpet of my scream.

P.S. I just noticed the lovely symmetry of "D100D."

Ariel said...

While the sun crested the horizon, Emily struck out over the hills, seeking revenge. The villain she sought was hidden behind secrets and lies, but she brought down his defenses one by one. When she lowered her smoking gun, she smiled, finally at peace.

Enward said...

I couldn't take my eyes off Candi as she walked in, but who could? Too bad there was no chance I would ever have the nerve to talk to her and maybe, just maybe, make my fantasies come true. But then she smiled.

Efreak said...

I couldn't take my eyes off of Eve yesterday. I couldn't get even close enough to touch her! Fortunately, my grandfather was asleep and I managed to take his before he woke up.

@Liv: There's nothing wrong with morbidity, so long as you arent suicidally so, and telepathic, too.

Anonymous said...

A corpulent female of twenty realizes that she no longer wants to be a doctor but rather a writer. She meets Jonah, a sardonic male who tends to make our protagonist content not only with herself but with the world. Oddly, she discovers that Jonah is not exactly honest with what he desires and there evitable falling out makes our protagonist realize that she should not base her happiness on others but on herself.

Carolina said...

Khristina loved her parents very dearly, but then she learned a horrible truth: she was kidnapped by them when she was 3 months old. So she decided to set out on a journey to find her real parents, where along the way she would meet her twin brother, kill her first man, and discover that men are asses. Years after embarking on her search--a 100 deaths later (she didn't mean to kill that many people),and losing her virginity--she would finally reunite with her parents and find her one true love.

Yes, it is sucky and I apologize. And yes, I'm a sucker for happily-ever-after endings. :)


Anonymous said...

Albert Cottle was doing just fine, climbing the ladder at Hunsicker & Sons Accounting, until the day he saw the ad inviting all comers to audition for the Lersup Family Circus. His wife begged and pleaded, ranted and raved, but on Tuesday, February 22nd, Albert marched down to the big red tent to try his hand at tiger taming.

It's really too bad he didn't have insurance.

word verification and circus family inspiration: lersup. :)

Janet Reid said...

Amy S King, word warrior, attacked a stealthily encroaching ream of paper armed only with her word hoard of verbs and nouns, but soon joined by mercenary armies of adverbs and adjectives who heard her battle cry.

Her Muse, terrified, leaped to obey; plot, subplot and literary agent saw the error of their evil ways and yielded to her pen, mightier than a sword.

The Dust of One Hundred Dogs soon rose, surrounded by light, heralded by trumpet fanfares, bathed in glowing reviews, and stacked to the ceiling at bookstores across the now peaceful and happy land.

Terri said...

"How do you know Bryan?", the question bounced through her blank stare. Tina thought 20 years and 2 time zones would have been enough to escape every needing to answer THAT question surrounding the brief encounter with that 15 year old boy. She smiled and simply replied, "I know Bryan, let's leave it at that.".

Jonathan E. Quist said...

I had never engaged in mortal combat, and was unprepared for the crimson wake
trailing the blade in its journey, cleaving flesh whilst guided by unwavering hand in a swift yet unhurried passage charted in blood.

"My Love's blood," I thought, lifting my gaze by sheer will from her warm, still form to the blade-wielder's icy eyes, inhuman in emotion unbetrayed of the drama playing out beneath; stolid and unreadable as behind a mask.

Yet even as cunning hands attended to bloody tasks, with a cry, that petrified aspect abeyed, and the blade-wielder addressed me: "Congratulations, Mr. Quist, you have a daughter!"

Joanne Levy said...

It was dinnertime at the Taco Bell when I walked in, overwhelmed by my hunger, craving the over-processed guacamole like a lion craves meat. “This aint no real Mexican Food!” a woman at the cash yelled, throwing her wax paper-wrapped food at the wide-eyed teen who’d just served the food. Avoiding the scene, I turned and left, preferring instead to go back to the hotel room; the bed was probably still warm and occupied and I suddenly felt the urge to spoon.

A.S. King said...

These are AWESOME. Now - tell your friends!

RyanBruner said...

Old Man Joe sat huddled between the shrubs and the chemistry building, alive only by sheer will...and the warmth from a single exhaust pipe. I'd passed him countless times, never seeing him, not really wanting to see, afraid he might break through the stone pump inside my chest. But this time I glanced his way, by accident or by providence I do not know, and saw him gnawing away the last remnants of cheese stuck to a discarded McDonald's wrapper.

Diana Dang said...

Chasing her like the winds, I try to catch up to the blue fair-haired maiden. She turned to me, eyes twinkling with delight and slowly opened up her hands. The object glowed, casting a spell on me forever.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, she wonders. Sometimes, she wanders. Wondering and wandering, she ends up in Germany, where she wünders happily until the end of her days.

A.S.Johnson said...

There was once a great hero who fought many battles. He was disgraced but regained his honor. He died a great king.

A.S. King said...

You guys ROCK. There are some great entries so far! Wow. I'm not sure my judges will be easily bribed any longer. I may need to actually pay them in something more exciting than candy and beer.

Don't forget your email address - if there isn't a way to get in touch through your website/blogger account!

Spread the word & thanks for entering!

Anonymous said...

Startled awake, Maggie crept to the window to see what was causing the disturbance outside. The sleet, raining from the sky and pummeling her window, sounded like rocks being thrown by a secret lover in order to get the attention of the object of his affection. Maggie, having no interest in a love affair, closed her curtains and crawled back into bed, hoping her lover would go away soon.

Thanks for the opportunity to win. My email address is

Amanda Morgan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda Morgan said...

Oops, posted too soon before.

A snake coils on the shaded front steps, rattling lazily in the cool shade.

"Careful," says the boy, and the little girl lifts it with a long, knotted branch.

The pair walks it outside, carefully, and sits it down at the very end of the driveway, on the hot cement.

Kitten With a Whiplash said...

As she gazed down toward the water, some 200 feet below, a gentle breeze brushed against Selina's cheek, reminding her of the soft touch of Gerald's lips in that very spot, just before he left her for the last time. "I wonder if that breeze began it's life as a whispered lie... from some cheating bastard like Gerald, to some trusting dope like me," she wondered aloud. "But honestly, it was soooo stupid of him to break up with me on the Golden Gate Bridge!" she thought, just as his screams stopped and the splash sounded.

Liviania said...

In the beginning, the mound lay high and proud, its tall crest mocking the tired lad. Yet he perservered, working with diligence and alarcity. He would be known as the lad who conquered the laundry.

Jonathan E. Quist said...

In response to my quip on Twitter (would that be a queep, or a twip?), A.S. challenged me to combine the rules of two contests, and write a story in three sentences of eleven words each.

A.S., I accept your challenge, and raise you one. This is to be sung as a sea chantey. The refrain, while not part of the entry, is included because, well, who ever heard of a sea chantey without a refrain? I mean, be serious!

The term "Royal Pen" does not refer to a flagship's brig, but is in fact a reference to A.S. King.

A mighty lass died in the sand,
cursed a cur's existence.
One hundred times she died again,
resurrected by a Royal Pen.
Returned, she now does lay her claim,
through dogged sheer persistence.


Hold fast, my lads, nor make your stand,
you will never win on sea or land,
for to beat the dog that bites the hand
takes the Devil's own assistance.

The Compulsive Reader said...

Ooh, cool contest! I like how you make us work for a chance at winning.

The sundae was majestic: rolling hills of ice cream, puddles of chocolate, and mounds of nuts with a cloud of cherries topping it. Carrie tried with every fiber of her being to think of something, anything else: crunchy lettuce, fresh, sweet tomatoes, the satisfying cruch of raw carrots, but to no avail. "Well, at least it has cherries on it," Carrie thought as she plunged her spoon into the sundae.

Also, I LOVE the sea chanty. That takes the cake.

Anonymous said...

After years of battle the knight was able to kill the dragon which had destroyed the knight's land. Once the dragon's body was brought forth to the king it was revealed that the knight was a woman but seeing her bravery from the battle he still awarded her and everyone rejoiced.

Paradox said...

I will be attempting to shorten a short story of mine called Mirror Walk into three sentences... let's hope this goes well.

If anyone in this world could tell you the real fate of those with an otherworldly heritage, that would be Ria, orphan and wanderling. Our world didn't want her or her kind, and she knew it, so she turned at midnight to the one thing that gave hope to those who do not belong in their world, or seek that which does not exist in their home universe. And in this mysterious hall of portals known only to these seekers, the Mirror Walk, it is inevitable that the fates of two lonely souls would be intertwined, so when the boy who looked somehow familiar, like something out of a dream, approached Ria in this infinity of reflections and said that he sought the same thing she was hoping to find, family, she took his hand and they walked off into another world.

(c) (c) (c) Paradox (To anyone reading this besides A. S. King, who obviously wouldn't steal - This means that Ria and the Mirror Walk are mine.)

I wrote the original Mirror Walk over a course of three months for a contest, and then I missed the deadline by 30 seconds. :(

paradoxrevealed (at) aim (dot) com

jocelyn said...

Twice upon a time, our heroine, Rapunzel, fell into an enchanted sleep. It happened twice because she was incredibly stupid and managed to prick her finger twice. The second time, her Prince Charming was too old and feeble to save her and perished in the quest; she was never awakened.

Unknown said...

Sue was a precocious kid, who predictably grew into a somewhat formidable young woman, who swash-buckled her way through the world, cutting a wide swath. Tragically, she was killed by an inept and jealous lover, who couldn't hope to even touch the tail of her comet.
Soozie awoke on the little rug before the fire and stretch and wagged her tail, glad it was only a dream, and to be back in her own little doggie life.

Unknown said...

that's me-- pseudosu!

Thao said...

I hope I'm not late.

One summer night an inexperience thief broke into the richest house of the town, hoping to get away with lots of luxurious stuff. He made sure nobody was home and the alarm turned off, but then, unexpectedly a dog appeared and chased him around. Later he was arrested with his body bitten everywhere and his head spinning around because of the wild running.